"You are so Retarded"

I just finished reading over my previous posts and I noticed two things. One- I can't spell to save my life nor do I have an understanding of grammar. Two- I am a total valley girl when I tell story's, "So, ya he was like and then it was like so funny and then she was like." I can't promise you I will stop any of that. Actually, there is a good possibility you will find no difference in this post than the others but I thought I should try to change my transitions between story's by telling them separately.

1)Driving Alex Inman

I picked up Alex around 6:30 and as I pulled around the corner, I realize freaking Alex has NO food in his hands. My rules are very simple and clear. No food, No ride. I made a conscience decision to drive him anyway. He is my best buddie after all. He actually is not bad to drive with.....most of the time. He didn't like my CD (paramore) and insisted on listening to THE worst rock song in the history of music. I don't know what it was called but I could almost feel my ears bleeding. Thankfully Devin called and we had to turn it down.

2)Getting Gas

I don't know how this ever slipped through my parents knowledge but I have no idea how to fill my car up with gas. A little problemo especially since my mother was gone and I was pretty much on my own as far as the car goes. Well, my car started yelling at me and since Alex was sitting next to me I had a brilliant idea that he must know how to fill a car up because he's a guy. I was sadly mistaken. We get to the gas station and I pull up to the first station thingy. After I get out of the car to open the lid, I see that the it's on the other side. So what do I do? I pull around to the other side of the building and park on the wrong side again. I am so retarded. Finally I get parked and we seriously spend around 30 minutes trying to figure out how to do everything. It was a disaster. Most of the time I was just praying for some kind of intervention from Heaven. That didn't happen. Alex finally called his dad because I refused to call my own father in Utah. I can only imagine what Bro. Inman was thinking on the other end. I'm going to guess it was something like "This is so sad" or "Katie is an idiot, and so is my son." Alex went in and gave them $15 in ones and we gave my little bug some nutrition to get us home. I was super excited that I put gas in a car for the very first time then I get in the car and the wheel won't move and the brake won't go down. Great....what did I do now. So again, we call the Inman household for some parental guidance. This time it was Sis. Inman. I don't even want to know what she was thinking. We got the car to unlock eventually and I have a nasty little bruise from running into the machine, just to remind me everyday how dumb I am.

3)"TPing" Joey's House

Well, we didn't technically "TP" Joey's house. It was more of an attempt that failed miserably. We got there around 10:30 and of course they are ALL awake and in the front room with part of their window open. Why couldn't they have gone to sleep at 10 like a normal family. Dang. Devin and Alex were amusing to watch. They took it VERY seriously. They even went as far as army crawling to fork his yard. Me and Debra and Sarah were just walking around and getting it done which was way less cool. I was back at the car getting more supplies when Debra, Sarah, and one of the guys come running back very quietly. Ryan (Joey's Brother) looked at them out the window and they came outside. We were standing in the middle of the road waiting for them to leave for a while. Then me and Alex go back and we are crouched behind their huge car when we hear the door open and like a thousand footsteps come out. At that moment, I had so much adrenaline I couldn't even talk. Alex rolled under the car and I hid behind the other car's tire. The whole family is out there cleaning. Who the heck cleans that up in the middle of the night?! Then I turn around and Debra, Sarah, and Devin are standing on the corner in the blasted street light. Really?! Joey starts yelling, "I CAN SEE YOU GUYS. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!! YOU ARE DEAD! I CAN SEE YOU!!!" I thought he was talking to Alex and so my heart starts beating even faster because I knew I was next. All I was thinking was please don't come over here, please don't come over here, please don't come over here. Of course, Sis. Jenson comes around and starts laughing. My first instinct was to scream really loud and run as fast as I could back to Devin's. And so I did just that. I hear footsteps behind me so I slow down a little, assuming it is Alex following me. It wasn't, it was Joey, and Alex was still hiding. I wanted to cry. So, Joey and Justin (which I don't know when he came into the picture) and Ryan are out by my car and have dumped toilet paper and forks and army men all on it. By that time Alex was back and I make a run for it with him. But stupid me I forgot my backpack. We turn go around the block and come back and Alex opens the door while the car is still moving and launches out onto the grass, turns around screaming because joey is bolting after him, and dives back into the car and we make an escape. He turns to me and looks so scared like he was going to cry and says, "Your backpack is inside!!" oops.

4) Lunch with Joey and Alex

So, me and Alex go to Albertson's to get lunch for us and Joey because we were over there all day. We got potato salad, rolls, macaroni salad, and Chicken. This Chicken guy took freaking forever so I go up to him and he says, "I'll be with you ladies in a minute." What a blow to Alex's manhood. Zander leaves to do heaven knows what and the Chicken guy comes and says a couple of things that I am still disgusted at. "He really does look like a girl with that long hair"and "You need a real man to date." Then he gave me the creepiest look ever. OK Mr. Jerk Face, first of all, that is just mean. Second of all, we definitely aren't going out, not that that fact increases your chances anyway. And third of all, give me some chicken already!

5)Whip Cream and Wet Towel War

I was sitting on Joey's couch with my back to him when he suddenly says ACCHHOOO super loud and then a wet paper towel lands on my knee and I just about threw-up. It was super nasty. Then the war began we were throwing wet paper towels at each other and one landed on my face. Sick. Joey wraps one around some whip cream and smashes it on Alex's shoulder. Then the second war began. At the beginning it was just me and Alex doing it until I got Joey in the face. Priceless. It was so much fun I had whip cream everywhere. It was in my ear and in my hair and on my shirt. My hair was all plastery and grody at the end. But it was soo worth it.

6) Alex's house

We all went over to the Inmans to hang while Alex was babysitting. Don't worry parents, it was a 1:3 ratio. Alex got out the strobe light, which is a pretty random thing to have, and we busted a move in the living room with his little bros and sisters. Nicky (Alex's little brother) was super cute dancing around. Then Joey totally bled all over the place. His scab came off and had like rolled down his arm. I was involuntarily gagging and had to remove myself from the kitchen. It was GROSS. We watched Eagle Eye while the kids were upstairs watching some Disney movie. I told Joey everything about him grossed me out and he just got up and left. I seriously thought he was mad at me and had gone home because the door made that annoying beep when it opened. So we were in the kitchen and I turn the corner around the fridge and he was standing there. I jumped about 10 feet in the air. Scared the crapola out of me.